


Lovecraft’s Vigilance

by Tezzieh



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, Losers are 18, Lovecraftian, M/M, May contain undertones of HenVic, Multi, Polyamory, Resurection of Vic and Belch and Patrick, SHINING, Sex, lots of cute romancey stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 08:34:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13244514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tezzieh/pseuds/Tezzieh
Summary: Very canon divergent. Drawing most of the backstory from the film. Heavy lovecraftian influences. Pre-established OT7Six years later.The losers have managed to stay together, for the most part. But six years are a long time and they have changed, all of them. In ways they themselves barely noticed, but those around them all the more.Ben’s found something that might change a few things more.





	Lovecraft’s Vigilance

The phone rings in the Denbrough residence. Bill jumps up from his desk, dashing to the hall. But his mother beats him to it. “Hello, this is Sharon Denbrough.” She picks up. Then her eyes wander to the top of the stairs, where Bill is waiting. “Yes .. Yes I’ll call him over.” Mother replies to whomever it is that’s calling. She gestures to Bill. Bill almost stumbles in his hurry to get to the phone. “H-he-hello.” He stutters, taking the phone from his mother. “Heya Bill, are you busy?” It’s Ben on the other side of the line. “Not ruh-really.” Bill replies. At eighteen, his stutter has lessened, through careful breathing he can control it and when he gets comfortable around the other losers, it is not there at all. “No homework?” Ben asks. “No.” Bill lies. He’s behind on an essay that has to be delivered in a week, but he knows he’ll make the deadline. “Can you come over?” Ben fires the next question right away. “Just m-me?” Bill responds. “No, I called the others, they are on their way .. All but Eddie, I hoped you could pick him up on your way. His mother won’t let him go.” Ben explains. Bill nods, unaware that Ben can’t see it. Not that it matters, Ben knows, by some sort of instinct. “Alright see you in a bit.” Ben hangs up without any further word.   
“I am going to Ben’s.” Bill tells his mother. She doesn’t protest, she never has. Not while her son has good grades and is healthy, which is exactly the case. Bill runs into the garage to grab his bike. It ain’t good ol’ Silver anymore, but it gets him where he needs to be just fine.

~ 

The bell rings. “Eddie bear, can you get that for me.” Mrs. Kaspbrack yells. Eddie, who has been sulking ever since his mother didn’t allow him to go see Ben, looks up from his comic book. He puts it down with a sigh and walks to the door. “Don’t slouch, you will grow crooked!” His mother shouts. Eddie groans and opens the door. “H-heya Eds, f-fuh-fancy going out for l-luh-lunch.” It is Bill on the front porch.   
“Ma, can I go out with Bill, pretty pretty please.” Eddie puts on his most pitiful voice. “It is only for lunch.” He knows his mother has the least problem with Bill. Bill has good grades, Bill is healthy, Bill is a good kid. His mother seems to need to think on it for a while. All the while Bill stays politely on the porch. All he does is reach a hand to Eddie. A hand Eddie takes, so Bill can gently give his a squeeze. Bill’s smile is so encouraging and so sweet. It is as if Bill never lost the bravery he had when he was twelve. “Very well, go, but be careful, take your medicine and be home for dinner.” Mrs. Kaspbrack says in the end. “Tha-thank you so much Mi-missus K!” Bill says happily. He draws Eddie over the doorstep and to his bike.

~ 

 

The door of Ben’s place is slightly ajar. Eddie jumps from the rack and runs for it. Bill tosses his bike onto the lawn and follows Eddie.   
In the living, Ben’s mom and aunt are seated on the couch, knitting and watching tv. Bill and Eddie greet them quickly, before making a bee-line to Ben’s bedroom.  
Four teens look up at them with owlish expressions. Ben is the only one who doesn’t seem to notice Bill and Eddie have joined them. Stan and Mike, on the bed, restore the quickest and Mike continues massaging Stan’s feet. Richie and Bev, seated in the windowsill take a bit longer. “Heya gang.” Bill says, his voice gentle, a happy smile plastered on his face. “It’s been a while since we all met up like this.” Eddie pushes past Bill and clambers into the windowsill beside Richie. At long last Ben looks up from his book. “And not without reason. I can’t tell you guys one by one.” He turns, his desk chair creaking with protest. Not because Ben is still fat, puberty has been kind, as have his ‘new’ eating habits. The chair is just old and rusty.   
“Big Bill, take a seat.” Ben gestures to a chair beside the bed. A chair Bill recognises as a kitchen chair. Ben’s prepared a special seat for the leader. It causes a light blush to dust Bill’s cheeks. “Thanks Ben.” He puts a hand on Ben’s shoulder and smiles. Ben looks up at him and smiles back. He still has some chub in his cheeks, it makes his smile so beautiful. Bill leans in to press a kiss to Ben’s forehead. Then he takes his seat.   
Everyone’s eyes turn to Ben. Mike let’s go of Stan’s feet and leans his back against the wall. Stan huffs a little, but that is all the reaction he gives. “Ben, please tell us what you called us here for.” Bill says. Big Bill is in charge. It is as if they are in some official business meeting and Bill is the CEO. It gives all seven losers the feeling of importance and foreboding.  
Ben takes a breath. “Do any of you know H.P. Lovecraft?” Ben asks. “Is that a pornstar?” Richie asks. Eddie elbows him between the ribs. “No, he is a cosmic horror writer.” Ben replies. “Which is relevant why?” Stan frowns. “Think on it.” Mike is the first one to understand Ben’s drift. Bill seeks out his eyes. Mike lays his fingers on his temple and grimaces. Any outsider who’d see it wouldn’t understand. But the losers do. Bill first, then Bevvie, then Stan and Richie. “It came from a place beyond space.” Eddie breaks the silence that started living between them while comprehension sank into their minds. “It was our cosmic horror. And It was not alone, the turtle was there as well. They can’t be the only ones.” Ben grabs a book from his desk. He hands it to Bill. Bill looks at the winged, tentacles beast on the cover. “If we had seen this picture six years ago...” The end of the sentence he swallows. Stan reaches for the book, falling over and sprawling over Mike’s lap. But he has the book in his grip all the same. He, Mike and Bill share a hearty chuckle. Then Stan sits back up and reads the title of the book. “The Complete Fiction of H.P. Lovecraft. Fiction, Ben!” His voice is rather loud. Mike’s hand finds his leg and squeezes. “Yes this might be fiction, but wouldn’t you say that if we write down our own exploits many people would dub that fiction too.” Ben says gently.  
Richie gestures for the book to be handed to him. Mike passes it from Stan to Bev. Bev reads the back, Richie and Eddie leaning in to be able to read along. “The call of Cthulu, The Shadow over Insmouth, The Dreamquest to Unknown Kadath… Sounds interesting.” Bev says. “It is, it is fascinating.” Ben nods, his eyes glowing. Beverly hands him the book back and gives him an admitting smile. 

Stan clears his throat. “Okay, honestly, what are we even here for, to see a book and have some jollies?” He asks. “Did you have anything better to do, beside pull your own junk.” Richie comes to Ben’s defense. “D-don’t be like that .. I would have called Bill or Mike.” Stan flusters. Out of the seven he is the least open about intimacies, Eddie is a close second. But Eddie just thinks a lot of things are ickie, Stan just acts like a plain ol’ prude half of the time. Even though they all know each other on the most intimate level.   
“It is the way I came by this book that started me thinking.” Ben says. “How did you come by this book?” Bill peers at the image on the cover, the tentacled beast, somehow feeling the dread behind it, even though the drawing is not that scary. “I couldn’t find anything nice to read in the library last week ...” Ben starts, his voice a bit hesitant. “No of course not, you have literally read every book in the dusty old place already.” Richie interrupts him. “Hush, let him talk.” Eddie says sharply. Ben awkwardly rubs his neck. “Anyway … I left the library and then someone came to me. Typical asian looking type guy in an expensive suit. He knew I couldn’t find what I wanted to read, he told me so. And then he pulled this book out of his suit. He said think book would be food for thought and that he’d see me again when I’d drawn my conclusions.” Ben strokes the cover of the book, his eyes seem to look at the memory rather than the book, though. “And has he come back yet?” Richie pipes up. Ben shakes his head. “More importantly, did he give you his name?” Stan asks. He looks very tense. Ben hesitates, but then nods. “B-but I think he lied.” He opens the book, opening it to a certain page. Bill peers along over Ben’s shoulder.   
Ben’s finger travels along the lines of tiny letters. He is seeking for a specific words .. a name, Bill suddenly realizes. Ben makes a soft ‘ah’ sound, his finger stops. Bill leans in to be able to read the name. “Nyarlathotep.” He says out loud. “Yeah… That’s how he said he was called… But when I read his name in the book, I knew he was lying. He just made it up.” Ben slaps the book shut. “But it is exactly the book you wanted to read, right?” Mike asks. Ben nods sheepishly. “Yeah, it is. It is such a good read with so many unsettling and interesting stories. It puts what we have been through in perspective and makes me wonder. Are there more Derries out there, with their own It..” He mumbles.   
“Do you propose we become monster hunters?” Richie immediately asks. “No, every Derry also has their own Losers… And I think some monsters are not meant to be defeated...” Ben shakes his head. “Then what are we doing here?” It is Stan again. “I dreamed of Unknown Kadath last night… And I hadn’t even read the story then. But I dreamt it all the same. And all of you were there. All decked out like Indiana Jones.” Ben tells them. He is looking at Stan, as if he wants to fight the eldest boy’s doubts.   
Stan worries his bottom lip with his teeth. “I dreamt it too..” He mumbles. All eyes focus on the jewish boy. “I dreamt we were Indiana Jones too. But I didn’t really think much about it. It is just a dream right?” He looks Ben in the eye. “Would be it so outlandish that we all have the same dream?” Eddie wonders out loud. There is something instinctive inside him that knows they all had the same dream as Ben and Stan… Almost, each of them has dreamt in from his or her own perspective. 

There is a silence that lives between them for a while. It is not an uncomfortable silence. It is a silence in which they realize that after six years and some months of familiarity has put them in tune with each other to such a deep degree. They don’t need words to communicate. Their connection is deeper than even their physical encounters can give a voice to. It is in their minds, as if their minds have a deep and intense connection.   
“Have you drawn your conclusions yet?” Bill asks, placing his hand on Ben’s knee. Ben looks at it with some sort of pondering gaze. He places his own hand over it. “No, not yet, but I am sure I soon will.” He whispers. “But it is not why we are here, right?” Bev asks. Ben looks up at her, soft fluster spreading on his cheeks while he smiles at her. Bev smiles back sweetly. “No, you’re here because of the dream.” Ben replies. “Because you knew we dreamt it too.” It is a statement, Mike is not asking. “I think we all knew.” Bill answers in Ben’s stead. “We all dreamt of a place I would read about today. A place we didn’t know about, a place H P Lovecraft wrote about.” Ben’s voice trembles with excitement. “What significance do you think this has?” Mike asks Bill. Bill gives a ponderous humm in response. “I wish I could answer that. Ben what do you think?” He gives Ben’s knee a soft squeeze. “I was trying to think of it this morning, but I haven’t got a clue, so I thought we could brainstorm.” Ben replies. 

They brainstorm for a while, but don’t come to a conclusion. 

Stan’s attention is the first to waver. He sprawls out on Ben’s bed, nudging a foot against Mike’s thigh to attract his attention. The dark skinned boy remuses massaging Stan’s feet. Stan sighs sensually and closes his eyes. The conversation tanks from there, it seems Stan is deliberately being loud so the others will have to focus on him. Stan is not usually loud, not in speaking and not in bed, unless the perfect buttons are pushed. So to hear Stan’s loud sigh as Mike works on his feet makes the other’s fall silent pretty swiftly.   
“Why doesn’t he ever make those sounds in bed.” Richie complains. Bill and Mike exchange a look and have to both suppress smiles. Stan’s eyes open and fix on Richie. “If you’d took the same amount of time with me as you do with Eddie.” Stan says, his voice without malice. Beverly starts to laugh first. Richie, Eddie, Ben, Bill and Mike join her. Stan just smirks smugly.   
“I could totally make you scream my name.” Richie says in a challenging tone. “I’d like to see you try.” Stan retrotts. “Please not here, my mom and aunt here home, remember.” Ben protests as Richie slips down to the bed. Richie doesn’t seem to have heard it. He crawls right over Mike, on top of Stan. Mike makes no attempt to stop him. He even backs off to give Richie room.   
“Not now, idiot.” Stan hisses, not too happy to have lost Mike’s attention. Richie flat out plops down on Stan’s crotch. Not too hard, though, Stan does not flinch. Richie grinds down on him. Stan’s reaction is minute, only the tensing of his jaw betrays him. “I hope you have time for me tonight.” Richie cooes. He grinds again, causing Stan to grit is teeth almost audibly. “He, might, but you don’t.” Beverly interjects. Richie looks up, frowning at her over his shoulder. “We would go drink tonight.” Bev tells him. “We can drink some other night.” Richie objects. “No, you go drink with Bev tonight. I’m spoken for.” Stan says. “Who do I need to fight.” Richie asks. “That would be me.” Mike smirks. “You lucky bastard you.” Richie moves off of Stan.

~

Stan and Mike leave first. Stan is always the first to leave, oddly. Of course all in good spirits. The Richie and Bev go next, saying they were going to pick out booze. Then Eddie leaves, asuring Bill he would make it home on his own.   
Bill and Ben remain, each with their own thoughts. Ben twirls around on his chair, causing it to creak in protest. Bill looks up. “Anything else?” He asks Ben. Ben shakes his head. “I would have shared it with the group.” He says. Bill nods, understanding. “I should go now. Call me first things tomorrow in the morning.” Bill gets up. Ben gets up as well to let him out. He doesn’t ask Bill for explanation, he knows this is about the Dream Quest. “See you tomorrow Bill.” He says. “Yeah, I guess.” Bill replies.   
He picked his bike from the from lawn and turn to look at Ben, who is standing in the door opening. “Goodbye B-ben.” He’s out of the protective nest of his friends and his stutter is slipping back into his throat. “Goodbye Bill!” Ben waves.  
Bill races home. The house is empty. His parents are probably in church. Bill is glad for it, it saves him the awkward way they barely react to him. Even after all those years. It hurts Bill more than he dares to even tell the other losers. He doesn’t want to tell either. He knows they know. And the need to give a voice to it would undermine his position. As the leader he needed to be strong for his friends. He is their leader, his foremost task is to help them. After all, it was him who brought them in as much trouble as they have now.  
He need to help Richie with his explosive bursts of energy and his abandonment issue’s. He needs to be there when Richie feels alone and when he flings off the handle, to calm him down. He needs to help Eddie with his Münchenhausen and his constant startling. He needs to be there when Eddie has another asthma attack. He needs to help Mike with his feelings of being an outsider and the worry in the dark skinned boy’s mind. He needs to be there when people are being awful to Mike, only because his skin is a different color. He needs to be to help Ben with his fitness and his social reclusion. He needs to be there when Ben feels he isn’t worthy of the other losers. He needs to help Beverly with her acceptance of her own sexuality and with her anger management. He needs to be there when she is about to explode again. He needs to help Stan with his OCD and his rigid routines. He needs to help him feel comfortable with his own life again.  
But all the while Bill doesn’t give himself room to heal. He will never get over Georgie, over It. He internalizes all of it, makes the trauma part of the structure of his DNA. The stutter, the panic attacks in the dead of night that he only barely manages to stiffle when he is alone and that he can survive in the arms of his lovers. He gives himself no time or chance to heal himself.

Bill spends his day behind his desk, writing and drawing in turns, until his hand cramps up. He tries not to think of the Kadath too much. It would influence his dreams for sure. But his mind keeps wandering. Wandering to the monstrous Cthulhu, powerful Nyarlathotep, slumbering Azatoth and All Knowing Yog-Satoth. He didn’t even know how he came by those names. Maybe his mind had peered into Ben’s and found them there.   
He looked at his drawing, groaning in disgust at what his mind had conjured without him really paying much mind to it. Terrible beasts with human bodies, but fish heads, masses of eyes and tentacles. Only one drawing was not horrible. It was the drawing of a man with dark long hair and a noble face with high cheekbones and a sturdy masculine jaw. “Who are you?” Bill whispers to the drawn man.   
“Bill, are you there?” His father’s voice sounds in the hall. “Yes dad!” Bill yells back. He heard the living room door slam. It is all Zach needed to know and now his attention is back to whatever it may be his parents think about. Maybe it is Georgie, maybe it is nothing at all, but if is definitely not their eldest son. Bill is used to it by now. He has stopped breaking how own heart over it. It is only just a sore on the underside of his heart that burns a little from time to time.  
He wanders down to get himself something to eat, not wanting to sit at a silent dinner table. He found yesterday’s leftovers and put them in the microwave. He takes his plate upstairs and eats at his desk. There is a sour melancholy feeling in his heart. The sneaking suspicion that he… they .. the losers .. will soon need to undertake something they are too small for. They .. He … Bill has again bitten off more than he can chew. And as usual he end up regurgitating it on the six others, who will double under the weight, but shoulder it and follow Bill into whatever hell hole… The realisation crushes him and he begins to cry.

The phone rings in the hallway. No one picks it up. Bill wipes the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. He hurries down stairs and picks up. “H-huh-hello.” He sniffles. “Bill are you okay?” Eddie asks from the other side of the line. “Y-yeah.” Bill lies. “No, you are not!” Eddie yells. “Don’t go anywhere, I am coming over!” Eddie hangs up. Bill sighs and sits on the lowest steps of the stairs. He waits, sitting there until Eddie arrives.   
Eddie rings the bell and Bill jumps up to opens the door. He looks down on Eddie, biting his lips together. Eddie crosses the doorstep and puts his arms around Bill’s waist. Bill heaves a deep sigh and snakes his arms around Eddie’s shoulders. In silence they embrace. Bill starts to cry again. “I’m sorry.” He sobs. “We know.” Eddie mumbles softly. He knows Bill’s guilt and how it is likely very … justified. Bill draws the others into things like this. This is all on Bill, but goodness do they follow him willingly.  
“It’s fine Bill.” Eddie awkwardly pats Bill’s back with one hand. Bill sighs again, his entire body shuddering in Eddie’s arms. “Let’s go upstairs, okay?” Eddie says softly. Bill meekly nods. “Y-yeah okay.” He mutters. The embrace breaks. Eddie takes Bill by the hand, leading the taller boy to his own bedroom. Bill complies for a change, rather than taking the lead, as always. Eddie pushes him onto the bed. Bill flops down with a lethargic groan. Eddie’s heart hurts for the older boy. “You should sleep.” Eddie says softly. Bill nods, sitting up to take off his tee. Eddie notices how the older boy is hardening out. He’s not as solid as Mike or Stan, but also not as stakey as Richie. Bill is slender and sinewy with hard abs, but an undefined chest. His limbs are gangly, much like Richie’s. Eddie finds Bill very classically attractive, despite his tearstained face.  
Eddie takes off his sweater and trousers. Bill shucks his jeans, skinny jeans that make his legs seem endless. “Come, we’ll sleep now.” Eddie crawls in bed with Bill. As always, Bill is compliant. He arranges himself so that Eddie has plenty room. But he also pulls Eddie close, so they can cuddle. Eddie snuggles close, tangling his hands into Bill’s copper hair. Bill noses at eddie’s collarbone. “T-thank you.” He whispers.

 

Both sleep fitfully and venture in their dreams to unknown Kadath. All of the losers go there, to meet a drawn man. A man with dark hair and a strong jawline. All too soon they all wake up.


End file.
